When you are an anxious daughter
There is a thin line between
Excusable and overreacting.
The first can be met with advice and love
While the other is met with disapproval and anger.
How dare you feel so deeply.
How dare I feel so deeply.
When you are an anxious student
You avoid doing any work until the last moment
Because if you don’t turn it in, you can’t sleep.
You can’t think.
You can’t eat.
You drown in the sea of expectations.
A pleasure to have in class.
The cycle continues.
When you are an anxious friend
There is no such thing as an anxiety free zone.
You beg your friend to be your bus buddy
Because you can’t sit alone.
Everytime they say yes.
Everytime you feel just as guilty.
When you are an anxious creative
Everything isn’t good enough.
The doubt engulfs you like fog.
You rip a piece of yourself out and
Splatter it before you, only to hate it.
To hate yourself.
When you are an anxious lover
You want to be strong.
To be brave.
To love.
To be fearless.
To be there for them as they are for you.
Why is it so hard to be there for yourself?
When you are an anxious human being
Even the smallest thing can trigger
A flood of confided emotions that haven’t been
Felt since the first day.
But the trauma leaves you numb.
Someone has it worse trickles from your lips.
The validation that you pour into another’s cup
Barely drips into your own.
Jumping back and forth between
I’m fine
And
I AM FINE
Is endless.
When you are anxious
You are at war with yourself.
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